VAT refund is normally possible, best is you start / discuss before you initiate the purchase!
There are certain options.
If you have purchased the item from a seller, only the seller can refund VAT. myGermany and no German agent can do a VAT refund, But we can support you. The seller needs to get a proof of export, a document called customs declaration (MRN/ATLAS). For packages with value below 1000 EUR we dont do such a document as per default as it is not required by customs. For each package leaving the EU worth more than 1000 EUR we do automatically do the customs declaration document - we need you support on this and will inform you once you have initiated the shipment. If you have already sent the item with us and start the process afterwards, we can draft another document for the seller (called Bescheinigung für Unmsatzsteuerzwecke) wherefore we charge 20 EUR. All can be done only after you have received your package in your destination country. You need to present those documents to the seller, who is entitled but not obliged to refund the VAT.
Be aware: Refunding VAT is optional, which means the merchant has the authority to say No. If he agrees, we will provide 2-3 weeks after delivery the papers / proof of the customs that we really exported the item outside of EU! Along with a small letter of yours he will refund the VAT to you....
The easiest way is using our Concierge Service: We will buy it for you and sell it to you without VAT. We take a fee of 10% and you cannot "fine-tune" any customs values as we declare it with the value we bought it (we are liable for that in that case). You simply need to initiate the Concierge (http://www.mygermany.com/pickup-concierge-service-germany/), enter the net amount only, and put a small line in the comment that you have spoken to me :-)
If you have already purchased at merchant and want myGermany to return VAT afterwards, we may be able to help, but allow us to take a VAT refund processing fee of 40 EUR